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When I am in a relationship using that term very loosely that has progressed beyond a third or fourth date but hasn't been declared exclusiveI have no idea what to tell my friends I'm doing when I plan on hanging out with said person on a given night. And why are there so many terms to choose from? Realistically, we're "spending time together after a few dates and thinking about finally hooking up," but that doesn't seem as straightforward. I usually end up saying I'm "seeing" someone, even if it's been six months and we go on extremely romantic dates. Relationship coach and clinical psychologist Morgan Anderson says that this confusion can stem from a lack of communication or clarity.
Dating can mean anything from being in a committed, serious relationship to simply going on a handful of dates for a certain Dating but not dating of time. Meanwhile, it would seem that hanging out is just a euphemism for hooking up. The biggest difference between dating versus hanging out — according to dating and relationship expert Cora Boyd — is the intent, or lack thereof, to explore your potential. If you're only meeting up once it's dark outside, it may be more of a booty call than a date.
If you're having fun, though, keep hanging. This is textbook old school dating. Even if it's just a matter of grabbing a drink together before you make your way to the bedroom, you're more than likely dating. Doing any sort of activity besides smooching suggests a desire to know each other better, which usually makes whatever you and your person are doing more meaningful than just hooking up.
Why is that? Even if you're just going on a handful of dates within a few weeks and then it ends, the dating part is in the conversation and getting to know each other. You're probably dating someone if you know where they grew up, how close they are with their mom, and their opinion on skinny jeans.
As conscious dating and relationship coach Clara Artschwager tells Elite Daily, opening up allows you to become emotionally vulnerable, which shows an investment in the potential of a relationship. If your communication nets at zero when you aren't talking logistics for a night together, then you're probably not all that interested in being romantic outside of the occasional spooning sesh.
Of course, there's nothing wrong with hanging out if that's what you feel like doing. It's great to have a "hang out buddy" in your city for lonely nights where all you want is some company and maybe a warm body, too. That extra effort demonstrates that they want to impress you and care about more than just getting physical.
What it really comes down to is thoughtfulness and creating special moments together. Again, one could do all of these things and only be interested in hanging out, but it's not as likely. Dating means making a little bit more effort than you would for someone you see as just a hookup. If you know their friends — and not just their roomie from 7 a.
When someone wants you to be a part of their life, one of the first steps is introducing you to their inner circle, as well as wanting to meet and be a Dating but not dating of yours. We can't give these labels too much importance, because at the end of the day, the only label that really gives a relationship parameters is whether or not you are exclusive.
Even more than that, Artschwager challenges us to consider why we may be asking this question in the first place. It's interesting that hanging out seems to be defined more by physical interactions than emotional ones when we are referring to a partner, but when we talk about hanging out with a friend, we mean a relationship that is entirely emotional and not physical at all. Cora Boyddating and relationship expert. Clara Artschwagerconscious dating and relationship coach. This article was originally published on By Annie Foskett and Mia Sherin.
Updated: July 7, Originally Published: Aug. Search Close.Dating but not dating
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Here Are 8 Ways To Tell Whether You're Dating Or Just Hanging Out