Added: Rashidah Dodge - Date: 08.04.2022 02:35 - Views: 48029 - Clicks: 7268
Maybe the memories hit you in the morning like a phantom semi-truck, pummeling your routine. Or maybe the thoughts creep in on a quiet lunch break, teasing you like a puzzle you can never solve. Or perhaps the annoying hauntings come to you as you lay awake at night, too tired to fight the unsettled, wandering questions that never seem to end. Not all breakups are equal. Some barely register, while others are rather intense—throwing us into an emotional aftermath, both devastating and aggravating.
Like a pitiful lullaby for sad, forlorn grownups, these more intense breakups push us to analyze everything for hidden meaning. So we ask ourselves: where is he? Is he happy?
Why could we never see eye-to-eye? For me, the biggest question was: why him?
In fact, our relationship was rather dysfunctional. My friends breathed a sigh of relief after we broke up—for the final time, that is. And although the future of my dating was filled with better fits—the best of whom I would marry—thoughts of my past relationship with him would creep in years later, even in my happiness. His ghost would choose the quiet, insecure moments, and in a blink, with all his baggage and all his condescension, his soft, deep voice would read my mind and voice those hard opinions.
If I was thinking about him this much, surely there must be something to this— right? And so I would go down the rabbit hole of self-deprecation, reanalyzing everything.
And I mean everything. What if I said this instead? What if did this instead? What if I tried this instead? I thought I was losing my mind, but as it turns out, this kind of question-loop is completely normal. Certain relationships—especially ones that happen in our early adulthood—can really pull our heartstrings and tug at our minds.
In fact, you probably should. But keep in mind, when you break off a close relationship, your brain is undergoing real physical pain. And only a few relationships really give us this. So why would we not pine after loves and lovers who also had a meaningful impact on us?
And the way we respond to losing an attachment can provide us some golden insight into ourselves and how our mind works. People who are sentimental might find themselves sighing over a sweet moment. But these insights go beyond individual personality, too. In fact, our reactions might also provide insight into the state of our own mental health. Yet when you really think about it, he was never really there. He represents my insecurity, my anxiety, my doubts. Maybe your ex represents something entirely different in your mind—maybe not. Instead, find ways to use this information to your advantage.
Figure out what this means about you —not about you in relation to him. And look for ways to rewire your brain. If thoughts are particularly haunting, consider therapy. Untangling Relationships.
She goes on to explain that in the same way that we have nagging thoughts about neglected tasks, like s that need replies or bills that need to be paid, our brains obsess over relationship failures. In other words, we obsess over breakups because of what they teach us—not because something is wrong with us, and certainly not because we need to get back together with the ex. Are we really never, ever getting back together?
These pointers will help you make the right choice. Home Relationships. And is he haunted like this, too? What if? That melancholy? Your reaction will give you insight into your mental state. By Hannah Collins. By Angela Johnson. By Maria Walley. By Amy Chan. By Isaac Huss.Do you miss your ex
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Here's why you still miss your ex despite being in a great relationship